Conditional Love, always bad?

Can a bumpy road lead to a smooth pasture? Love is easy to obtain when you love yourself. Unconditional love is something anyone should have for anything. But when it comes to finding a partner there are conditions, not for love, but for support.

If your conditions are connecting to your well-being then there is nothing wrong with searching for those conditions. But in order to do so loving yourself and loving others unconditionally is the first step. Afterwards then you can see if right now in your life that other person is meeting you survival needs and you are meeting there's. If they are conflicting with those needs of making life more difficult, then, no matter how much you love them, if they are harming you, it's better to bite the bullet and move on, or try again later. What matters is the present. Staying with someone who is making things toxic can cause one to not search for healthier people.

In love with the past, ignoring the present

It's easy to fall in love with an idea of a person, or the past of a person. Maybe they lied a lot and you’re in-love with their lies. But when it comes down to it, if there are problems in the present, words aren't matching actions, and overall you don't feel good, or dread talking or seeing them...something is wrong! 

It can be hard if you go in empty handed and leave negative of where you started, well throw that idea out of your head. No matter what life experience healing or exhausting there are always things to learn from and things to be proud of yourself for. Maybe there were a lot of mistakes made? That's fine, now learn from them and take your knowledge and wisdom to the next person.

Maybe there are things that are holding you back...

• They might live nearby so it's hard to avoid them.
• Sex may be amazing.
• You get along in every-way except one major thing is getting in the way and causing problems.
• You’re waiting to see if they act differently in different contexts.
• Possibly they are going through a tough time and you want to see if they can pull through it.

No matter the reason, if this is your FIRST, impression on the person, then it doesn't matter. No one ever said you can't come back later and try again. If right now you’re not happy with them, if you stick around too long;

• You might start resenting them.
• Starting dislike them.
• End up hurting them or yourself.
• Join them in bad habits.
• Doubting who you are.
• Doubting love.
• Doubting that you'll never get what you’re searching for.

 When you really like someone, you can't wait to see them, and you are happy to see them, ESPECIALLY in the beginning. If this isn't true, then move on.